Reflections on Resilience

Reflecting upon the past year of my life, I believe it is safe to say that resilience has in a way become an integral part of my life. Stepping into the first year of my MBA feels like a long time ago, I still remember, very vividly, the time was marred by uncertainty and intense anxiety about what was to come and whether I'll even be able to "survive it" so to say. However, now that I have the privilege of looking back and reflecting on this time from the comfort of certainty, I feel the central theme of last year has been resilience, to show up, day after day, regardless of what is thrown your way. Earlier, probably because there was no choice, and now, because it has become a part of life, a natural course of action.

Throughout the course of this year, I've come to realise one thing, that with learning, and at times re-learning, resilience is a me vs me battle. For me to seek it with or without support feels noble and brave. I can celebrate my achievements regardless of how insignificant they may appear from the outside. Yet to have it either imposed or expected feels cruel, cold hearted and damages my sense of self worth. Resilience, I believe, is an inside job. It is certainly for others to support and encourage, to lead by example and speak of their well earned wisdom - wise role models are great. Yet after all that, it is ultimately us who have to learn how to pick ourselves up and go onward with all good speed, with the belief that things have a better chance of working out with each successive try, and all we can do is hope, and hope for the better.

At the same time, one good thing that came out of this ordeal is the skill of adaptability, and more than that, being okay with uncertainty. Having a mind that constantly grapples for answers and surety at the slightest hint of the unknown, I never thought I would be able to make peace with not having all the answers right at the outset. Uncertainty is something I have always dreaded, even at the expense of stretching myself thin in an attempt to hold my world together. However, now, I find comfort in this overarching assurance that everything will work out well in the end, like it has always been the case so far. Some days, this thought itself is enough to keep me going.

"You pull the rug from beneath my mind, expecting collapse, or at least a trip. Yet I have learned a trick that's unique and new. You see, most folks don't realise they can fly. Yet in a world where solid ground is, at best, an illusion, it's what we're all doing anyway"

As I look ahead at what is to come, I carry with me an invaluable lesson on thriving, and not just surviving amidst the unpredictability of life, Since quite often, I end up treating life's many periods as transitory, hoping that the "ultimate" end goal will bring something that will satiate me. However, what I have come to realise is the fact that when we look back, these supposed "transitions" themselves make up the majority of our lives, with fleeting and ephemeral "rewards" sprinkled sporadically. Thus, with it comes the wisdom that I do not want to while away my life's many mundane days treating them as a transition phase that will get me to something that finally makes me happy, when in fact, this is what my life is.

The essence of the whole of last year has been the realisation that in a world where foundations are ephemeral, the act of flying is not an imposition but an innate ability, that seeks liberation in every flutter, beckoning us to revel in the dance with uncertainty. Of course it is true when they say that leap, and the net appears! And I couldn't agree more.